Title is in Summary
by Zepphyra.Snow.Storm
Summary: In Which Awkward and Irritating Things Happen to Sollux When He Takes Terezi to See Porrim, and Cronus's Unexpected Arrival Makes His Day Hell. Real summary inside. Please note that the main pairing is Sollux (diamond) Terezi, and the side pairings are Porrim (diamond) Kankri and Cronus (heart) Kankri. Sollux POV (Part 2 of Brave New World)
1. Chapter 1

_**Summary: Sollux takes Terezi to see Porrim, who is to help her through her heat cycle. Sollux asks Kankri some rather personal questions, and he exchanges light and completely accidental black flirtations with Cronus, to which Cronus reacts badly to as he is happily taken. They are all having dinner together but when Karkat is brought up, Sollux leaves the table. He locks himself in the bathroom and has lots of angsty thoughts, and thinks he should probably take his moirail up on her advice.**_

_**Homestuck (c) Andrew Hussie. Image used is not mine. If you own the image I've used, and you can prove it and would like for me to remove it, please say so and I will gladly take it down :)**_

**Hey there... Yeah yeah I know, again, I should be working on _When Souls Collide... _Sorry... OTL Ugh. Well anyway, I already had this written, it was just supposed to be a oneshot but kind of turned into a... 3-shot? Anyway, you might want to read the fic that came before this, as this is the second in the series. Chapter 3 is started, and it will come out whenever it comes out.**

**Anyway, please tell me what you think of these two chapters... I know that Sollux comes off as really, really grumpy. But he's not in a great mood to begin with.**

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><p>You are starting to regret coming here with Terezi, and you're not even "here" yet. Just the thought of being around Kankri makes your stomach turn. You thought Karkat was a talker, but… Damn. Just damn.<p>

"You really think this will be alright?" TZ asks you for the millionth time.

"Yes, TZ, it's fine." You reply, gripping the wheel of the scuttle buggy a bit too tightly. Maybe you shouldn't get so impatient with her though. This is a… delicate situation. "I just… This is so fucking awkward, Sollux!" she stamps her foot for emphasis.

"Yeah, I can only imagine… But at least Porrim is willing to help you out, ya know?" You say, trying to dispel the awkwardness Terezi feels. "I mean… it's not like she doesn't know what you'll be going through, so like she said, she's happy to help. And… well, ya know. She's uh, pretty _experienced _in this kind of thing..."

The morning after Jade broke up with you, TZ confronted you about her own little… problem.

"Hey… Sollux?" She peeked into your room. "I know that you're dealing with… ya know… But…"

"What is it?" You'd growled, having just woken up with a hangover. You hated having to remember the fact that you were suddenly single.

"Um… I need to talk to you about something…"

"Can it wait?" You hoped it could.

"Not for much longer…"

The hesitant and worried tone she was speaking in was so uncharacteristic that you couldn't help but be worried in your migraine-induced stupor.

"Alright… Just, help me get cleaned up, first." You'd grumbled.

"Okay!" And you could hear the smile in her voice.

She peeled you out of the sopor – well, you helped – and gently wiped your bony body down. You wiped your feet on the crusty mat after she handed you your robe, and then she left to turn on the water in the trap. It had to warm up before you could get in. You threw the towel in the bin next to your coon and trudged into the ablutionblock.

"I'll start your coffee, okay?" TZ said softly, careful of your hangover.

"Make it black." You requested without turning around.

"Well duh."

You smiled. Of course she knew, but you had to say it anyway, just to make sure.

You shut the door, and stepped into the trap. The water was warm. Your head was fuzzy, and it hurt like hell. You massaged your scalp, feeling the sopor easily slip from your skin and your hair through your fingers. The crusted-on slime liquefied, and slid off of your skin smoothly. You sighed, vaguely wishing that your head didn't pound with every minor movement of your body.

You turned the faucet off. Before stepping out of the trap, you made a poor attempt at drying yourself off. You did not touch your head. It hurt too much. You left the ablutionblock and put on some grey sweat pants from the floor and a big white t-shirt with something that the humans called a troll. It had text that said, "Problem?" You're fond of this shirt. It almost made you feel a bit better. Almost.

You trudged downstairs. The coffee smelled wonderful.

"Good morning, sunshine!" TZ sneered, still speaking softly.

You sneered back. But it was weak. Your heart just wasn't in the sneer today. You took the coffee she gave you, and she led you by the hand to the pile.

"So what's up?" You asked her quietly.

"Okay, Sollux," she paused, and took a deep breath. You could tell this was going to be heavy. You braced yourself. "Listen… I'm going to go into my next heat soon –"

"_What?" _You gasped in alarm, then winced and clutched your head in pain, groaning quietly.

"That's _why_ I'm saying…" Terezi looked away from you uncomfortably. You were seriously worried now. She almost died last time, since she didn't have a partner. "I need to find someone this time… I was wondering… if maybe, I could find someone that could help me." You were about to interrupt to say that was probably a ridiculous idea, but she continued on quickly. "Look, I know that this kind of thing is done, okay? You don't need to be in a quadrant to get someone through their heat. It's technically a huge taboo, punishable by culling, but the Condesce is dead now. So who really gives a shit, right?" She paused, trying to subtly sniff at you for a reaction. "I know it's weird, but I don't really ever want to go through it alone again… I mean, I know if I asked, you would help me out… But that would ruin this, what we have here, and I don't think I could handle that." She dropped her head onto a pillow, and your heart immediately clenched with pity for your moirail. You gently pet her hair, allowing yourself to consider for a moment that just maybe something should be done about this.

Of course you knew right away that something should be done, and you knew right away what your role should be. You're no seer, but you are kind of a genius. Not that that really has anything to do with this situation. What had to be done was common sense, really.

So you said, "Look, Terezi… How would you feel about Kanaya's danscestor helping you through your heat? I know her pretty well. She's a nice person."

TZ turned to look at your with her unseeing eyes. "How do you know her?"

"Well… Kanaya and I are actually really close, believe it or not. Like, Rose and Dave close. And Kanaya and her danscestor are also very close… As a result I've met her danscestor when she's come to visit a few times. We ended up liking each other."

"Oooooh, does Mr. Appleberry Blast need to confess something?" Terezi asked smugly, perking up immediately.

You'd scowled. "No. I don't need to confess anything. Need I remind you that my matesprit slash kismesis _just _dumped me? It hasn't even been a full Earth day. Don't even joke like that. I can't take it, okay?"

Terezi frowned. "Oh yeah. Sorry."

"Oh yeah." You mocked. "Anyway, we exchanged contact info, because we were interested in talking more. She's nice. I mean, she's very promiscuous and has some misguided idea that having sex with whomever she pleases and posting nude pictures of herself is "feminist", or "independent", or whatever… but I don't really care. She's kind and supportive, and if it were a request coming from Kanaya and I, she would definitely support you through your heat."

Terezi's eyes widened slightly. "Really?"

You'd nodded confidently. You thought you knew Porrim well enough to guarantee this answer in advance. "Really."

TZ sighs and looks out the window of the scuttle buggy. She can't even see anything so why is she doing that. What the fuck TZ.

Or maybe she can smell? You have no freaking clue, and you're not asking.

Finally, you see a sign for San Francisco. Honestly, this is the other reason you kind of regret coming. You'd go with your moirail to the ends of Alternia – or you mean, the earth, but seeing these females (of either species) called "feminists" going around with their rumble spheres hanging out just made you uncomfortable. You'd once been told by Dave that on his version of Earth, they had parades where some people would make the poor decision of going around with hardly any clothes on and you could see just about all of their nasty bits. You think you're extremely glad that this Earth is completely accepting of "homosexuality," whatever the hell that is.

Not that you really care what people are into, or what their views are. You don't really care what anyone thinks about anything. Seriously. Just fuck everyone.

It's when people just freaking… take their clothes off. Just… what the fuck. No. Stop.

You also hate San Francisco's hills. It's a pain to drive here, you always think the scuttle buggy is going to do something… funny, like give out on you or something.

Not that you really come here all that often, though. But you feel that you must complain anyway. And you usually would, _loudly_. But not this time.

You just think it's a huge pain to drive the hills. TZ insists on having you drive a rental scuttle buggy and making this a Thing. Of course you can't fly this enormous distance with your psionics, because that would kind of suck for you carrying TZ and all. Instead you fly in a plane. With someone else in control. With your life in someone else's hands. Someone that you don't even know, and will most likely only ever see once, if ever. Super cool. But you guess that's _kind of_ why TZ hates busses, subways and taxis. She's blind, and she can't lick the windows on public transit. She would just rather have someone she trusts take her long distances like this. It makes her feel less vulnerable. It makes sense, but…

You turn up the music so she doesn't hear your discontented growl. You really should stop thinking like this, since there's nothing you can do anyway. You're here for her.

The outskirts of the city is filled with homes, and one of them is the one you're looking for, you know that much.

You feel like a really shitty moirail for not wanting to be here. You not only feel shitty, you _are _shitty. You are literally a piece of shit, a freshly shat bit of fecal matter. You kind of really hate yourself right now.

But instead of sinking into a dark depression, you park on the side of the road when you see their house number and turn off the car. You take a moment to prepare yourself, for ahead, lies the most terrifying Vantas of them all.

Kankri.

He, you think, is what nightmares are made of. But… you do have some questions for him. Just keep telling yourself to stay calm. Steel yourself to his passive aggressive lectures.

You will get out alive.

But then you mentally shrug and think that maybe you're being just a tad dramatic.


	2. Chapter 2

"We're here." You mutter unpleasantly.

"Uh. We are?" Terezi jerks her head up. Had she been sleeping? "I – I don't know if I'm ready for this!"

"Nah. You are." You hoist your messenger bag over your shoulder and get out of the scuttle buggy. Then, you go over to her side to help her out. You don't want her to open the door when there's another scuttle buggy coming or anything. You trust her senses and all, but this _is _a rental. "You'll be fine. Just ignore Kankri and talk to Porrim, that's the key. We both know how kind she is, and besides, Kanaya already vouched for her."

Terezi nods as she gets out of the car. "But, what will you do while I'm talking to her?"

"Um… What do you mean?" You ask, confused. "Won't I be there?"

Her mouth drops in an appalled gasp. "Of course not! Sollux, I knew you were crass, but I didn't know you were so perverted as to look in on the sexual activities of your moirail!"

Your mouth drops open, too, and you stop walking to the door. At first you're offended, but then you're pissed, and you feel your psionics gather, crackling around your horns. "I am _here_ to support _you, _you ungrateful – I don't even _want_ to be here! I'll just fucking leave if you don't want me here!"

Terezi sighs and hugs you without hesitation. "Of course I want you here with me, dumbass. I just don't want you physically with me while I'm talking to Porrim, about my heat of all things!" She steps away, and there's a faint teal blush on her cheeks. Immediately you feel like shit again and… Damn it all, you're just really pale for this woman. "Listen." She says calmly. "You're my support, okay? Don't waiver. This was your idea, remember? I think you'll be able to handle Kankri for a little bit."

You sigh, patting her head. "Sorry. I overreacted."

She laughs that high, obnoxious laugh that sounds slightly maniacal and slaps your arm. You smirk a bit at her in return, and continue to the door.

Then, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for The Demon of The Red Sweater, you knock.

"Hello! Come in, come in!"

Only… it's Porrim who answers the door.

You nod at her as you enter, gripping the strap of your bag. You hear Terezi say hello as she enters behind you. You must admit… Porrim is gorgeous as always.

Not really your type. At all. But hot nonetheless.

The image of Jade flashes briefly in your mind, but you vigorously shake your head. _Stop that… You're not the _whatever_ of time… You can't go back._ You succeed momentarily in not thinking about Jade.

You almost wonder why Porrim doesn't have anyone in her concupiscent quadrants, and then you remember that she's a player.

_Oh yeah._

You take a seat on the couch in their living room, going ahead and making yourself at home.

"Sollux," Porrim calls your name, so you look to where she's peeking her head out of the hallway. "Kankri will be right down. Don't let him talk your ear off. Remember that you can always just interrupt him! But be nice to him." Then she just disappears, leaving you alone.

_Yep. Be nice. Exactly what you're bad at._

So you take out your husktop, intending to get some coding done. You have a new assignment on top of about five others, and this one is a bit more difficult. Not that you can't do it, but it's just a lot of time consuming work with all these other jobs as well… But money is money.

You're still staring at a blank screen when Kankri walks in. In fact, you don't even notice that Kankri has walked in. You're thinking about the best way to go about this. It is a bit more difficult than the others… No, not more difficult… Complex would be a better word. It is very important that you do not dive in without any ideas where you are going with this.

How to begin…

If only you'd brought your notepad with you!

_Jade would scold me… Tell me to have one of those stupid little reminder bands around my finger._

_No. Stop thinking about her!_

"Damn it." You mutter, gritting your teeth together in annoyance.

Suddenly there is a hand waving in front of your face, making you jump and snarl instinctively at the offender.

Said offender shrinks back, shocked at your behavior and obviously unsure how to deal with such aggression.

You kind of feel bad because Kankri is so small, like Karkat, but… not like Karkat because this guy is Beforan, and really just… Well, he's pretty much just a wind bag. That's it. Scrawny ol' you wouldn't even have to use your powers to kill him. You don't like the guy, but you don't hold any animosity towards him and you feel bad for scaring him like that… You're suddenly a huge sack of shit again and this is getting to be a really, really bad day for you.

"Sorry…" you mutter. "You shouldn't surprise me like that."

Kankri composes himself quickly, to his credit. "Oh, it is perfectly fine. I understand that as one from Alternia, you are much more aggressive, and your fight-or-flight instinct is much stronger than mine, as I have grown up protected and in an overall peaceful environment. Well, that is not to say that there were no problems and no violence at all on my planet, but in any case I must in fact be the one to apologize and should check my privilege. I am very sorry for startling you and I must—"

"Dude, I said it's fine." You wave it off, even though what he says is somehow valid and kind of actually making sense. He's right: times like these are when the differences between Alternians and Beforans become extremely poignant. Just little things like this…

You've thought about it before, even though you know he's taken, but this is why you think that Mituna wouldn't be a good kismesis for you. You'd be too much for him. The thought almost makes you snicker gleefully, but you're brought back into the real world with Kankri's voice.

"Oh… Well, then. Would you like any refreshments? Anything at all from the nutrient block? I doubt Porrim offered you anything, and I would feel horrid if you were parched or famished and were unable—"

"Some coffee is fine." You finally close your husktop in defeat. You won't be getting any work done.

Normally, you'd be pissed. But right now, you know that even if you were back at your shared hivestem you'd _still _be staring at a blank screen. Besides, maybe you can handle this guy. Maybe, if you think of him like a Karkat that isn't as angry and that talks a hell of a lot more... You interrupt Karkat all the time. All you have to do is talk over the guy, even if he's yelling. Well okay, maybe not when he's yelling.

You think you can hold rational, intelligent conversations with Kankri, like Porrim does. The only reason that you even want to, is because you've heard the rumors. You've heard that he and Porrim are moirails. You've even heard the less discussed rumor: Kankri has a matesprit.

You seriously want to hear what this guy has to say about his oath of celibacy or whatever the hell it was that was stuck up his wastechute about quadrants. You might be a total fail at romance, but you're not stupid. You know that people don't change that easily. You've known trolls who prefer one gender over another for one or most quadrants. That's all you're really familiar with, but those preferences don't just change at the drop of a hat. So yeah, you could say you're pretty curious as to what inspired such a change in this guy.

Kankri comes in with two mugs of coffee.

"That was fast." You remark, moderately surprised.

"Yes, well, Porrim bought a neat little machine last week called a Keurig. You can choose the size of the cup of coffee you're making, and you put these little packets in… It can be coffee, or hot chocolate, or cider, or tea, even iced drinks! It's remarkable and fast, but to be honest I can't support the claims that it tastes better than those items I've just listed made in different ways. Have you ever had traditionally made espresso? I have. It is one of the best things to have along side of dessert. Of course I have only have dessert occasionally, and am always so thankful that I have the privilege of being able to –"

"Yeah, espressos sure are good." You say, and you mean it. With all the caffeine you consume, you've become a bit of a coffee fanatic since being introduced to the customs of humans. There isn't a morning you go without coffee, now. And Middle Eastern espressos at those little ethnic restaurants… Your mouth is watering at the thought. "But I'd like to talk to you about something, Kankri."

His ears perk up in interest and he sets his coffee down. "What is it? If there's anything that I can help you with –"

"No, no," You wave your hand in a motion of dismissal as you sip your own coffee. _Hmm. Hazelnut._ "It's not that I need help… Just something I was curious about. Something about you."

Kankri lifts an eyebrow, perhaps out of suspicion. But maybe it's curiosity, you don't know. It's not like you can read the guy very well, you hardly know him.

"Look… I thought that you believed in celibacy or… didn't believe in quadrants or something – "

"Except I have two people in my quadrants now?"

You don't even bother to hide the look of shock on your face. "It's true, then?"

Kankri nodded, suddenly becoming extremely serious. "I realized something… Or rather, let me begin by saying, I died once, lived for a millennia in different dimensions separate from time, and both The Signless and Karkat were revealed to me. They both had different views on how quadrants worked, but they both loved somebody. The Signless's love for The Disciple went beyond the quadrants in something never before heard of for trollkind, and Karkat had a strong pale bond with someone whom I have never met… Kurloz and Meulin were not lost on me either – their loving matespritship, and then their closeness even after they'd ended it. Of course I noticed Nepeta and Equius as well… Everyone was happy. Even so, I believed that my way was the right way at least for me. Everyone can choose differently for themselves, but I truly believed that grey aquadranted celibacy was what was best for me. But then I, along with everyone else, was brought back to life and dropped here. I almost died again in the plot to kill the Condescension. When that happened, I thought that perhaps… my way was not wrong, but that I could change. I woke up to see Porrim at my side. She cried, and cried… And I felt something very strong. For her. And I decided that, as I said, I was not wrong, but that I would give another way of living a chance."

Damn, but this guy is long-winded. "So… what about the other quadrant?"

"Oh, yes!" Kankri frowns. "This one was particularly difficult for me, as I had been celibate up to this point. However, Cronus is now my matesprit. When the Condesce tried to kill us all including Cronus and the others of his cast, he could no longer take any pride in his blood color. I am not ignorant. I knew that he secretly harbored hatred for those lower on the hemocaste than himself, and he thought himself better. I did not call attention to it but I knew that calling himself human was merely a plot to get attention. But because of what happened, he hated his blood color, and himself as well. I suddenly felt such… pity for him. This went on for a while. He would do something, or say something, and however small, it would invoke such a feeling of pity inside me that I became confused and sought out Porrim's counsel. She told me that this is what it felt like to be fond of someone in a concupiscent manner. Of course I was confused but –"

"So… You were never actually aquadranted?" You clarify. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what that means. Seriously, why don't others get it?

Kankri looks troubled. "I am… not certain. I have examined myself over and over again, and I believe that this is what one would call, struggling with one's quadrant orientation. Do not get me wrong, I am very happy as I am now!" Kankri hastily exclaims, as if you were about to tell him he wasn't or something. "I just sometimes wonder… if I've been wrong about myself, if I've been blind… if perhaps, I could have been happy like this sooner."

His expression looks regretful, and you feel awkward. This is kind of too much information. You just wanted to know what the hell his deal was. You aren't usually into conversations like these, the gossipy kind, but you really just wanted to know what would make somebody abandon their so-called quadrant orientation.

He's talking again. You weren't paying attention. Whoops.

If you could open your husktop without him noticing, that would be great. But you know it's impossible, and Porrim told you not to be mean. Porrim is probably the only one out of the Beforan twelve (aside from Aranea) that kind of scares you.

You're both quiet now. You're not sure what he was talking about, but you know that even he can't go off on endless tangents with someone he barely knows. And anyway, you're here for a rather private reason.

Then again, he is kind of an asshole. Karkat wasn't incorrect when he said that most of the dancestors were assholes.

"So… on the matter of your moirail – I do hope I am not stepping into forbidden or uncomfortable territory – what exactly is going on here, if I may be so blunt?"

Yep. He's an asshole, alright.

You make sure to give him a withering glare before saying _anything._ But you think he's a little too dense to notice.

"Well…" You start, not really knowing what to say without intruding on Terezi's privacy. "How much do you know?"

Kankri tilts his head. "Well," he says slowly, "I know that Kanaya trolled Porrim about helping Terezi with something… And Porrim suddenly became very worried about Terezi. Then she contacted the both of you, and told me that you two were coming over here, today. That's all I know so far, but I assume I'll know everything soon enough, if things are going to involve me and this home any further. After all, I live here, too!" He crosses his arms and nods, as if this settles the matter.

Well, it makes sense to you, too. Although he's being slightly douchey about it, he probably doesn't mean to be douchey, that's just him. It's only fair that he knows what's going on in the home he shares with Porrim. You'd be pissed if TZ went sneaking around behind your back in your own damn hivestem. You can't even imagine her doing that, though.

But that's enough internal monologuing, though, because somebody is knocking at the door.

Kankri jumps up immediately. "I'll get it!" Then in a quieter voice, "I wonder who that could be…"

After moments and some sips of your waning, lukewarm coffee, you hear _sea dweller_. You growl. You can't help yourself. You know it's not very nice. It's not like its Eridan.

But… you can't really help thinking that Cronus is an even bigger asshole than Eridan.

Well, you don't really think Eridan is that big of an asshole anymore, with everything that's happened.

Cronus, though… Cronus just sucks, okay?

Kankri walks in with _that fucking sea dweller _trailing after him like an excited puppy. But his gaze falls on you and turns immediately hostile.

"Captor…" He growls, and you stand up, ready to meet a challenge if he dares throw one at you.

"Ampora…" You snarl, but more aggressively.

At that, he appears suddenly contrite for some reason. He looks about to say something but before he can, Kankri intervenes and says, "I believe you may have met before?"

You look away and nod.

Kankri continues on, "If you could both be civil with each other, that would wonderful."

"Uh, yeah chief, we can do that…" Cronus says immediately, all apologies.

You growl quietly. You can't really help it. It just comes out. You just hold so much… _distaste_ for this man. He's so… _distasteful_.

"Hey now, hey now." He holds up his hands and glares at you. "I don't like you either. But we gotta be cool, aight? Besides, this… this atmosphere is a little… It's gotten uncomfortable for me, and I just wanna say I already have a kismesis."

Your eyebrows shoot up in sheer shock. Then you wrinkle your nose in disgust and instinctively hiss at the mere idea that he thought you were interested in… _just the idea that – _

"Is everything alright down here?"

It's Terezi. She came half way down the stairs to check on all of you.

_What the fuck are you, a kid? You're not supposed to make Terezi worried about you, you're supposed to be here for _her_ you useless piece of fucked up shit!_

Cronus smiles up at her. "Yeah, girl, we're cool."

But she's looking at you, so you smile at her, too, and she leaves.

You immediately storm outside. You just wanna fly around, up away into the sun like a fucknig piece of garbage. Or… maybe just take a short flight around the city. Just blow off some steam. That sounds like a better idea.

Plus, the sun isn't out right now.

See, this is why you hate not being at home. You can't lock yourself in your room and code when you need to. Oh well. You suck it up and release your psionics, allowing your powers to thrum through your skin, all around your body. You're lifted up into this sky that is still quite alien to you, with your shirt fluttering awkwardly around your thin, gray torso.

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><p><strong>This was a longer chapter! Yay! All of the short chapters that I've been doing in this and the last fic are not really my style. Anyway, tell me what you think, and I'll post chapter 3 when I can :)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is chapter 3! :D Merry Christmas a little late ehehehe I hope everyone is have a lovely holiday season :)**

**I am going to go back and actually date these fics, to tell when everything is happening, so that it's less confusing. Just letting ya'll know.**

**Enjoy! Reviews are always appreciated!**

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><p>You return to the hive a few hours later. The sun won't rise for a while, so you're hoping you didn't miss dinner. That would be sort of awkward. Well, it'll be awkward anyway, with how you stormed out. Oh well.<p>

That little flight of yours only gave you time to think about what an awful excuse for an existence you have, and how much you hate yourself. Of course that's what you thought about. You're in a downswing (you guess), what the fuck else will you think about? You never do anything right, ever. So why should you not hate yourself? You have every right to. It's not like you hate yourself like Karkat hates himself. But at least he's not actually in a kismesissitude with himself…

You tell yourself to stop thinking about Karkat. So you stop.

You knock on the door, and Porrim answers almost right away.

"Where on Beforus were you?" She chastises you. Who does she think she is, your lusus? "We were all worried. And you have Cronus here in a panic because he thinks he offended you!"

You look over at Cronus, who is just sort of awkwardly standing in front of the couch, like he got up when you came in or something. Probably did, since Kankri is still just sitting there.

You completely forgot about before, with him. Oops.

You shuck your shoes off by the door. "Sorry." You say quietly. You feel like you really should clear things up. You don't want Cronus to get the wrong idea or anything… "Umm… it's not like I was trying to flirt with you or anything…" You sigh. "Sorry." You murmur again, but it's probably too quiet for anyone to hear.

"No, no, it's really not a big deal, man." He says, and sits back down. Kankri settles against him, stuck on watching whatever's on TV. "Just… heh, your bro Mituna might be a little pissed if he thought you were black for me. But it's all good, chief, no worries."

You roll your eyes. Not that anyone can actually tell. Whatever.

Then Terezi comes tearing into the room, smashing right into you. She latches onto you and it's apparent that she will not be letting go, so you just let her be. You kind of want to jam with her right now, but this is her time. You can't interrupt that.

What would you be interrupting exactly? You don't really know. This… thing that's going on here, you guess... which is really nonspecific. More than anything you don't want to put burdens on her when she already has this awkward as hell cycle with Porrim going on.

Whatever.

"Sollux, where did you go?" She scolds. Her voice is rough like usual, but you can hear just the faintest hint of a worried tremor in the tone. You feel like you might be about to get a verbal lashing, so you'll end this here.

"Out." You grumble. "Why the hell is that such a big deal? I'm a grown ass troll, I can do whatever the hell I want."

TZ looks up at you and frowns. "You're in one of your insufferable _moods_." She grumbles.

You make a face at her… then remember she can't see it. It pisses you off.

"Look, just leave me the hell alone." You snap, trying to tear away from her. You can't detach her, so you just seethe there in that one spot, not moving, quietly issuing a warning growl for her to back the ever loving fuck off. Because you are not in the mood right now. You're not taking anyone's shit right now.

What even got you this pissy all of a sudden? Fuck if you know, but that's your stupid fucking brain for you.

That's when the voices start up, and you hiss, unintentionally zapping your psionics chaotically around you. TZ gets zapped right off of you, but you're not at all worried. That was just some strong (and colorful) static electricity. Compared to what could have happened, that stuff is harmless.

You gently massage your forehead. It sounds like a natural disaster. You think it's an earthquake. It's just a very few (extremely terrified) voices, but they'll all be dead soon.

Great. Awesome.

"Sollux…" You almost don't hear Terezi as her voice suddenly got so quiet.

You want her to keep murmuring to you like that, gently, with her voice laced lightly with pale pity. You're suddenly terrified she'll leave you. It's because you're a terrible moirail. Horrible. She's leading you off, up the stairs, so that you two don't have to have such an embarrassingly public display of pale romance. You don't think she's talking but the voices are just so loud… One of them is gone though and the thought that that voice has been snuffed out forever, and the person it belonged to is just gone now, it's crushing. The weight of it is _crushing_ you. There is so much death you can't even hold your head up. It's hard to control your stupid powers. You're tired.

The sound of a door clicking shut startles you and your eyes jerk over. You're in some sort of respite block, and the lights are dim and TZ is looking at you so gently and that pile of blankets just looks so inviting… TZ sees you – smells you – shifting toward it, of course, and she gently leads you over and sits down. You sit down, too, but the motion is mechanical and she's leading you along. She makes you sort of lie down, and you put your head in her lap. Your head doesn't hurt yet, you note. But it will. It will.

"Shh…" At first you think it's one of the voices, but it's TZ. "Shoosh… shh… It's the voices, isn't it?"

Her expression is just so pale and you just…

She gently wipes at your cheeks. Hmm. Are you crying? You hadn't noticed… She's petting your head gently, brushing your hair through her fingers and humming quietly. You think absently that it reminds you of what Aradia used to do. Thinking about her doesn't hit you as hard as it used to, and you're especially grateful for that right now.

Terezi starts gently massaging your scalp and _hnngg_ that's good and you can't really help yourself, you start purring quietly, and you chitter nonsensically at her. _More_. You'd like more of that please. It's just so nice and it helps; it makes you feel so much better, and so very comfortable and safe.

Terezi smiles, and continues, her fingers prodding in all the right ways at your scalp. They move in a gradual rhythm to to your hairline, your forehead and temples. You're suddenly so relaxed you almost can't handle it. This doesn't take away the voices, but that's okay.

"I'll go grab you some pain killers when the migraine starts up, 'kay?" She quietly informs you. She daren't raise her voice too loud, for the sake of your head.

You don't nod or anything, you just sort of grunt a general acknowledgment. Yes, you heard. That sounds good.

"Do you want to talk to me about what's bothering you? Other than the voices? We can jam a little if you want, before dinner is ready."

She doesn't ever force the jam sessions on you, and you're grateful for that. Neither of you are huge on feelings jams. You check in with each other every day before you go to sleep, but… It's just not your thing. Talking every little thing out, you mean. Sure, you have your stuff that happens because your stupid brain makes it happen but you deal with it. You don't need to jam it out for that. She generally doesn't have much to talk about either. But you both know that you're there for each other, and sometimes just knowing that if you really need to talk to each other you can, well, that's good enough.

But you give a quiet assent anyway. She's offering so, okay. You can do this. As you are right now, you kind of need to.

"It's just…" You start slowly, trying not to undo the calmness that Terezi has instilled in you. "I'm just at a low point right now." You take a deep breath. "I don't really want to go into it too much… You already know how much I miss Jade. I'm just… thinking about her a lot." You pause, trying to gauge if your head is beginning to hurt. "I keep thinking about what she said, and I keep thinking that she's right. Nobody deserves a fucked up, mutated piece of shit like me for a matesprit."

"Sollux," TZ puts her hands on your shoulders, and looks down at you sternly. "You aren't mutated. All psionics have the same kind of physiology. That includes the lisp. Remember when we talked about it with The Psiioniic himself? Didn't that make you feel any better?" she asks you incredulously.

You nod. It really did help, but sometimes you forget about things like that when you get so set in your self-hatred.

"But I mean… I'm just frustrated. Yes, I probably need to get some help. It probably wouldn't hurt to, at some point, explore the options available. But how is it that the Psiioniic doesn't even _need_ a moirail, and Mituna has an awesome moirail and is fine? Because there's me, who's got an even awesomer moirail than Mituna and I'm not even close to stable! I mean, you don't even need me at all, you're already fine. But... I mean, we have the biological need to fill our quadrants but I can't even get my shit together when I have both a matesprit _and_ a moirail. I just, I suck, TZ." You sort of flail your arms out to the sides to emphasize your point.

Terezi shrugs. "Why not try a kismesis then?"

"I don't even want to think about that."

"Sollux, you're an aggressive and headstrong troll. I think you should go for a kismesissitude before looking to balance out your relationship with a matespritship. I think it would mellow you out some. But then again, maybe you should ask for Karkat's opinion. Now that he's not a completely incompetent wriggler, he actually kind of doesn't suck at the whole relationship advice thing."

You snort. "He never sucked. It was just that he had no experience at the time, back on Alternia, to back up his advice… just the experience of friends…"

"Funny how he and Eridan are really close again, huh?"

"Yeah… Kinda like how it used to be." You muse softly. There's no sense in dwelling in the past, and you know that if Aradia was still around she would reprimand you for it. But sometimes, you just really miss Alternia, and the way that things used to be. Sure, it wasn't a great life, but it was your life, and back then, they were all your friends. All of them.

"There's something else, though." TZ prods your cheek.

You groan. You really are getting a headache now. "Yes. Yes, there is, oh masterful seer of mind."

She cackles, and you wince.

"Well, it's about coding… I'm just having trouble with one of my jobs – my newest one – and I feel like I shouldn't be having that trouble, you know? I pretty much feel like an idiot, and the worst coder-hacker tech guy ever."

Terezi rolls her eyes. "But you're not. You _know_ you're not."

You shrug. Terezi pokes your cheek again and you wince as if she drubbed you with that ridiculous cane of hers.

"Hey, TZ, where can I get those pain meds?"

"Oh! Umm… Hm. I don't actually know."

All of the voices from the earthquake are gone now. Well, there were only a handful to begin with anyway, and these natural disasters never last _too _long. Now you just have everyone else to keep you company, like the dying sick humans, and other humans who die in strange ways that you as a troll don't really understand. Nothing out of the ordinary for Sollux Captor. Except that there are no dying trolls that you recognize. Not that that's a bad thing…

You stand up on wobbly legs. Geez, TZ sure did a number on you.

"I'll be okay… The voices that were bothering me are gone, and this headache isn't so bad. Actually, I bet it'll go away the first time I take medicine. Maybe."

Terezi always tries to tell you it might be better to be proactive and to take the pills because you know you will be getting a migraine, but that seems silly to you. Why take pills when there's no pain?

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" TZ aks as you make your way to the door.

You nod. "Yeah. I just need to ask where the meds in this place are…" Perhaps more importantly, though, you _cannot_ miss dinner. That smells heavenly.

So you wander down the stairs, still in a bit of a haze, and instinctively turn into the nutrition block… only to see Kankri in a passionate lip lock with Cronus.

You can feel Terezi behind you. You want to accurately express your disgust for the situation right this second but she'll ruin it, she'll ruin _everything! _With your psionics you clamp her mouth shut and drag her away with you into the rec block.

"What the hell was that?" she splutters when you release her.

You rub your head. It's slowly getting worse. "_That _was me telling you to shut the fuck up, because we would have interrupted Kankri and Cronus in their _private time_."

Terezi makes a little "o" with her mouth and you go, "Yeah." She makes a face and goes, "Ew," to which you reply with a stern "Shoosh." You shake your head at her, _n__ot that she can fucking see. _She's just so loud. Like, suddenly her voice is completely normal again. "Anyway, where's Porrim? We can ask her where the medicine is."

You nod. Shit she can't see that. How do you _always_ forget? You are so fucking stupid. "Yeah… But I also want to find out what's for dinner."

"Me too!" TZ intones excitedly. "To me it smells like macaroni and cheese! And bread!"

You love the sound of that. "Seriously, where is Porrim?"

"Right here, grubbies." You turn just in time to see her shutting the front door behind her. She smelled like cigarette smoke. _Interesting. _"Did you need something?"

"Yeah," You say distractedly, "What's for dinner?" Wait you need meds, _fuck._

"It smells amazing!" Terezi adds excitedly.

Porrim smiles, obviously quite pleased. "It's baked mac 'n cheese," she replies, putting an awkward amount of space between the words. "It's a human recipe, from the "Bro" human. I think he said that he got it from James, one of John's two genetic material donors."

You raise an eyebrow at Porrim's word choice. "They're called parents." You correct her politely since she's not a dumbass. You're sick of explaining how human bodies work to trolls all the fucking time, but in this instance you don't really need to do this with Porrim. "And James, being the male of the two "genetic material donors," is known as the biological father, in the most technical terms. According to John, guys like him are usually just known as a dad, and are called so only by their offspring. But John was just sort of... taken in by James, since he's actually a result of ectobiology. I'm not gonna launch into a lecture of reproduction though, neither regular nor ectobiological, because that's weird and awkward and boring. Also pointless." Sometimes you can't believe how your species can't believe this other species. It's kind of unbelievable how you two just don't get each other. At least you're intelligent enough to bother learning new things. And at least there are some trolls like Porrim. People like her give you hope. "But anyway, yeah, that sounds awesome. It smells kind of like a popular Alternian dish that us gutter bloods wou – "

"Shhh don't let Kankri hear you say that!" Porrim hushes you frantically.

Oh yeah. Kankri is a social justice warrior. Shit, you almost forgot. How dangerous.

"Oh, yes!" Porrim exclaims suddenly, appearing as though she's remembering something. "How are you doing? Are you alright?" The back of Porrim's hand is placed gently on your forehead, and your cheeks flush at the contact. You flinch away immediately, because you're not so familiar with her that you feel safe and comfortable with letting her touch you in any way, but it makes a sharp pain rocket through your head and you instantly regret the movement. Terezi bats her hand away and growls, oh so quietly, but Porrim is quite concerned at the pain on your face. She's probably confused and wondering if she hurt you or something. She doesn't know about your regular migraines. You wonder if she even knows when she's flirting, or if she just does it.

You pap TZ a couple of times on the head and then rub your fingertips over your own throbbing skull, attempting to alleviate some of the pain.

"Well… Let me explain." You begin, readying yourself to dive into a lengthy and involved explanation of how fucked up you are, and asking her if she could be patient with your stupid mutant brain and your stupid mutant problems. "I have some problems. I'm kind of one of those mentally unstable trolls… like, mood wise, I mean, not like a high blood temper tantrum mood swing. Since I'm a psionic, and also a low blood, I have a lot of powers and mental problems, and a really horrible temperament."

"So, like Mituna." Porrim says blankly, clearly not seeing where you are going with this.

You give her a pointed look before continuing. "I hear the voices of the imminently doomed, which is a very heavy burden to bare... like Mituna." You sigh. "So not only is there the fact that I know a bunch of people are about to die and I can't do anything about it, I have really shitty mood swings all the time. I basically have some sort of bipolar disorder… Although I guess I can't say that for sure without being professionally diagnosed. And I get migraines when I use my powers to much, or lift things that are too heavy. I also get migraines when the voices get really loud. I also get migraines just because the universe hates me. There's that, too. I have a migraine right now. Help, please."

Porrim's eyes widen substantially. "Shit. I get migraines sometimes, as well, and those are nightmares to deal with."

"Nah." What are you, some kind of mewbeast? "I mean, I'm used to them, I guess." You've had much worse.

Oh yeah, she is a mewbeast. She's from Beforus.

Porrim nods, and she smiles. "Alright. I'll be right back with some pills for you."

As soon as she leaves, both you and TZ sit down on the couch. TZ ribs you hard. "I think she was hitting on you." She hisses way too loudly.

You shrug. "Everyone wants a piece of this." You waggle your eyebrows. "TZ, I'm waggling my eyebrows. Smell my swag. Smell it."

"You're a regular troll Casonova."

"But seriously, I thought trolls couldn't get addicted to nicotine? Maybe I haven't studied up enough in the… what, one and a half sweeps I've had time? What the hell do I know?"

You feel Terezi shrug as Porrim hustles back out of the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready in just a second." She lets the both of you know as she hands you the pills.

You're glad to know, but you don't like to eat when you have a migraine. Oh well. The pills will help.

"Anyway," You continue, "Alcohol isn't addictive to us the way that soda is or the way that other soporifics from our planet are. I know for a fact, after I did multiple (_extensive)_ studies with Equius, Gamzee, Vriska, Roxy and Rose that marijuana has no addictive effect at all on trolls – physical or psychological."

"Wait, when the hell did you – "

"Crack is literally _poison_ to us trolls, unlike to humans… Well, it's still poison either way, but it's not addictive and with trolls it takes effect immediately, acting almost like squeakbeast poison. That's my point… I just never even considered that nicotine would be addictive to a troll… But _is _Porrim addicted? Maybe I'm just making assumptions…"

"Sollux fucking Captor."

"Yes?"

Terezi stares at you and you suddenly feel like you have revealed a horrible secret. It's actually kind of hilarious… for all the wrong reasons…

"I honestly can say… that I don't know what to say." She says.

"Alright." You can live with that.

"How long have you been using people as lab rats? I thought you were better than that."

You think about it for a moment. You really genuinely think about it. But you honestly can't remember, because Aradia was the one that got you started looking at people from an objective angle. Not that you didn't have feelings, or a heart… You just wanted some burning questions to be answered. Like what could make trolls feel weird, and what could addict them, and what could get them high without any chance of addiction, and any weird side effects like the tragic effect of crack. Well, you think that these things needed to be known. Otherwise, no one would know how these human drugs affected trolls. That could be potentially dangerous.

You end up just saying, "I don't know."

"I thought you were just a game-loving computer geek… I seriously thought you didn't care about any of that real sciencey type stuff, but I guess something must have gotten you interested. You must just make all kinds of fucking spare time for yourself or something…"

"What spare time?" That was the truth. You haven't done anything like that for a good few perigees.

"Huh?"

"Exactly."

"Grubbies, dinner time! And make sure you thank Kankri for dinner. If you don't thank him, he'll probably launch into a tirade about you being ungrateful and privileged or something…"

The both of you nod dutifully at Porrim as you move to the table.

You sit down to a plate, and you think you'd like to take a cook like this for a matesprit. That'd be awesome. You could totally go for some home cooking now and then. Not that you can't cook… kind of… But you digress.

"Oh, this smells amazing!" Terezi exclaims appreciatively. Usually she'd insert a jab aimed at Kankri, like, "Maybe if you're lucky, I'll let you off with a mere warning the first time if I catch you when I become a full-fledged legislacerator." Which was a compliment, coming from her, since she was saying she wouldn't kill Kankri since he was such a damned good cook. But… it was Kankri. And you didn't say things like that to Kankri.

You put a bite in your mouth, and _shit _it burns. You do the little bouncy arm flappy hot food dance as you hastily reach for your cold water.

Porrim gives you the side eye that says _You looked really damn stupid just now_ whereas Cronus straightup snorts his food out of his nose. Luckily he catches it as he quickly covers his face in his hand. It just makes him laugh harder.

"Cronus…" Kankri mutters. "That… This is disgusting…You should… go clean up. Think of the others at the table… This is disrupting the meal, possibly causing other to lose their appetite, and –"

"Yeah," Cronus wheezes, "S-sorry doll," he coughs a little, trying and failing to regain some semblance of self-control. "I'll get myself straightened up."

"What just happened?" TZ asks as she forks another bite into her mouth. "I feel like I just missed something."

"Nothing." You mutter, rather annoyed. "Nothing happened at all."

"So…" Porrim begins, and you get the feeling that one could say she "begins" rather _conspiratorially_.

You lift an eyebrow a bit warily. "So?"

"How about Karkat?"

"… How about him?" Already, you do _not _like where this is going.

Terezi puts her utensil down and looks at Porrim. Kankri narrows his eyes, but gives no other real indication that this interests him. But you know that it does.

"What's his deal?"

"… Define 'deal.' " You say carefully.

"Porrim, I don't think he wants to talk about Karkat." Terezi gets out through a mouthful of food.

Porrim smiles slyly. "I'm not making Sollux say anything."

Cronus returns, sitting down quietly and tucking back into his meal. His quiet doesn't last long though. "Ugh. I'm gonna go warm this up. Be right back!"

Kankri nods, but you, Porrim, and Terezi don't so much as acknowledge him.

"What's going on in his quadrants?" Porrim ventures. "Didn't he dump Meenah recently? Isn't he like some sort of quadrant guru? And how is he getting along with his ancestor?"

"Well, I can tell you that –"

"Kankri, I didn't ask you."

"… How rude."

"Anyway, I want to know what's going on."

"… Don't you talk to Kanaya enough to know?" You don't know all Porrim's ins and outs, but you think that you can safely say that this is amount of nosy curiosity is fairly unlike her.

Oh well. You'll think on that later, you guess.

"Yes, I do. And that's why I'm asking about you. I want to help my cute little dancestor be a good moirail."

You remain quiet for a moment, weighing it in your mind. You still didn't know what she wanted to know. _What's going on with him?_ What in the name of the mother grub does she mean? You chew on your lip a little, and touch the bridge of your glasses like you're pushing them up. You're not, but you just like to do that. You guess it's a habit.

You think though… that whatever Porrim wants, she can dig it out of Karkat's fucking nook. Your narrow your eyes suspiciously at her.

"… Sollux –"

"Listen, _ma'am_," you hiss the words as though you're cursing her. "I don't know what you want me to tell you, but why don't you just ask Karkat? He'll be more willing to talk than I will be." You take a breath to calm yourself. It won't pay to get too upset, at least not outwardly. "I respect you a lot more than I respect a lot of the other assholes that we landed with her with. But when you go looking around for mysterious personal information that's where I draw the line. One of my many lines that I like to draw. You're from Beforus, I'm from Alternia. Where I'm from, it's kill or be killed. You think we're all savages, I know. But we're clever, trained by our own fear to take each other down from birth not just in body but in mind as well. Just ask this Scourge Sister, here."

"Hey!" Terezi cuts in, sounding affronted.

"So don't be offended when I say that although I respect you, I sure as hell don't trust you."

Porrim's eyes were wide. "There's no need to get so upset, I was never intending to force anything out of you. This is no interrogation. Don't feel like you have to say anything."

You stand, and nod curtly. "Karkat is a touchy subject for me." You explain quietly. "We call ourselves best friends. We live really close. But I haven't actually seen the guy in almost a sweep." You take your nutrition plateau and glass from the table, and push in your chair. "I'm outta here. I'm going to bed, but in case I don't see you when I leave tomorrow evening, good bye and thank you for letting me stay here."

You rinse the tableware in the sink, and head upstairs to one of the spare rooms. You had already arranged with everyone that you were leaving after one day's stay. The only reason that you even came in the first place was to make sure that Terezi was okay with everything, the arrangement was okay with everybody, everything was fine and dandy etc etc. So you were going to leave, seeing as how Terezi didn't seem to have any complaints.

But now because of dinner, you're thinking about Karkat, and you're in a terrible mood. You were in one before, but with Terezi and dinner it had gotten slightly less shitty, if only for a moment. That damn Porrim just had to mention Karkat.

_Karkat._ The guy you haven't actually seen in like, forever. Ever since _the incident. _Ugh. You are still just so disgusted with yourself. Shit. You don't want to think about it. It's making your chest hurt. But now you're also feeling guilty, and ashamed... You hate this. No one should feel like this about their best friend. You fucking suck.

* * *

><p><strong>So I've released a little bit more background info this chapter. But the next fic will take us to the beginning, when everyone was deposited from the session to the new earth. I wanted to release this first, because I wanted to sort of make people curious, like, what exactly was going on before? So in the next few fics we'll find out what everyone else was doing! Maybe. Unless these people or trolls are just too mysterious. Then we might have to wait a little while until they are introduced. I'm just really excited about this! :)<strong>

**Please look on my profile for updates of all my fics! :) I have the next 2 fics for this series lined up there under "Upcoming Projects".**

**Reviews, please! :D**


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